There are plenty of people out there who will like you just as you are. Catch yourself when you’re pushing too hard to present a likeable image or use flattery to win people’s approval. Defending your boundaries is a job only you can do. But it’s not worth the exhaustion and neglecting your own needs. Yes, it feels good to see the smile on their face after you help them. Not everything people ask you to do is actually yours to do. Try telling them directly instead of hinting at it, hoping that they get it (and being frustrated when they don’t). But they are happy to help you if you tell them clearly what you need. Most other people however don’t possess that special skill. You are a master of figuring out what others need from you before they even open their mouth. Get your premium profile to find out much more about how you can use the Enneagram to become your healthiest self! 1. These five ideas are only a first step to get you started. The Enneagram is an amazing tool to help you on your journey to become more self-aware and self-accepting. We don’t always have to assume goodwill (that can get us in trouble at times), but use your best discernment to try to release some assumptions.Finding out about your Enneagram type shouldn’t be the end of your journey of discovering your personality. Leaning into self-compassion can help us move forward when we’d like to.īe kind to yourself & kind to others. Adding a little lightness can help diffuse some of our defensiveness and self-judgment. I put a little “whoops! Sorry!” in the graphics to communicate that typically these actions are not intentionally malicious. Talk about these things with friends and family! In what ways do you get on each others’ nerves? How does that lead to conflict? How can you cultivate more empathy and understanding in your relationships? Get curious about yourself! If someone does something that bothers or upsets you, is there something underneath that? Are you believing something unhelpful about yourself or others in that? (It’s okay if the answer is no – sometimes things are just annoying, and there’s nothing more to it!)ĭon’t use these for self-typing - if you don’t resonate with 100% of the statements on your type’s lists, be curious about what feels MORE true for you. I know we all know this, but just a thought to reiterate □ We can set boundaries for how we conduct our lives and relationships, but that doesn’t mean we can dictate how others are around us. We can control others’ behavior if they annoy us. Nope! Many of them are natural, understandable responses! We don’t have to change everything that makes others feel annoyed, but it’s helpful to reflect on these things sometimes. These are all entirely subjective! These lists are based on responses from my question stickers, and they’re self-reported by each type.Īll of these behaviors are bad. These things are universally irritating to everyone you’ll ever meet. Sometimes people just don’t mix, and we can be polite and respectful from afar. I will never be the person who insists you must get along with everyone you meet. You can feel how you feel! And it’s up to you to decide what to do next. You shouldn’t be annoyed by these things. What a lonely existence that would be! Instead, I’m just wanting to open up conversation and curiosity. You should never associate with people who do things that annoy you. Either way, I’m not here to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do about them. With that in mind, I also want to highlight that you might be irritated by MANY of the bullet points on these lists… or you might find them innocuous. If we can bring curiosity to this rather than frustration, assumption, or judgment, we can make our lives (and communication!) a lot easier. For example, if a coworker edited your writing on a shared document, it could be easy to think, “Wow, she must just think I’m not smart enough to figure this out,” when in reality, the coworker might be thinking, “I’m going to be helpful and make sure this is correct before it’s sent to the client!” What the coworker is intending in this scenario doesn’t matter if we’ve already internalized the assumption that “she thinks I’m stupid.” We especially tend to get irritated when we see our own unwanted behavior in others OR when we experience others’ behavior as an accusation. I truly believe this is just a natural part of being a human in relationships with other humans. When I say we “get on each others’ nerves,” what I mean is that we all do things that irritate others, and others do things that irritate us.
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